Do you start shouting at them because you feel that’s the best way to make them stop doing whatever they are doing? Parents yell at their kids when they don’t listen. And sometimes they may lose their temper and slap or spank them too.
Yelling at the children doesn’t make us bad parents. We’re doing it for the sake of our children. But let’s break up the situation into parts and examine them.
*Overcoming The Situation vs. Changing behaviour – Sure, sometimes yelling at the kids to get them to do something or to get them to stop doing something that is annoying you, does work. But it won’t work all the time and the kids will understand that when they misbehave, you will yell. And they will begin ignoring your yelling which may prompt you to lose your temper even more. So, think about why the child is misbehaving.
*Why Is The Child Misbehaving – If we as parents sit and think peacefully, then we will be able to identify the reasons for the kids’ misbehaviour. Does he need attention or is he reacting to the situation by misbehaving? We need to understand this and fix the problem so it won’t recur. An immediate reaction by yelling may stop the misbehaviour for that time but it could recur. Are you taking care of an immediate problem (at least he has stopped misbehaving now) or are you attempting to fix the issue long-term? We are not saying that you can identify and fix all reasons for misbehaviour, but you may be able to fix many, which will result in less misbehaviour and less yelling.
*Reactions and Constructive Discipline- Easier said than done. And we admit to that. But try and count to 10 to give yourself time to calm down before reacting. Then speak to them in a positive way that leaves their dignity intact, but clarifies that certain actions are not accepted. Addressing consequences and giving children a fair warning helps them make better choices.
Children are children and they will do unacceptable things. It’s a part of growing up. But we are grown ups! So, we bear the burden of managing situations sensibly. Make your home a peaceful place where people communicate respectfully with each other and consider each other’s feelings without finding fault, or making judgments.
Yelling will only create an environment of stress in your lives and we all know we can do with less of that.
Also, please share your experiences and opinions in the comment section below.